After finishing the script of our feature program for my DEVC30 (Community Broadcasting) class, I decided to take a shower and make myself feel comfortable before jumping to bed to study for my ENG1 exam the following day.
Normally, I took a shower for five to ten minutes, which is basically the same amount of time that women will use just for applying shampoo, conditioner, and other hair treatment bottles they have in their mini baskets. [which almost looks like the shopping baskets at groceries.]
As I enter the shower, I know that this will take much longer than the usual. Not because I want to, but because I have to. As I start to rotate the handle of the shower, the same time the water starts pouring, I feel like a weakling. I want to cry. I am so tired. I want to rest. Thoughts left and right are pouring at the same time the water is. Many ideas have crossed my mind. Will I graduate on time? Am I really being harsh? Does anyone like me? All of the insecurities I have within myself came in front of me. All of them. I was so ashamed, as I enumerate them in my mind. Questions keep on bothering me.
For that moment, I simply closed my eyes and let the water drops invade me. In a few seconds, I hear nothing, just the peaceful sound of the water passing by me. It was so wonderful to hear. How I wish that moment will never end.
BUT!!!!
Of course, in the middle of my “soul searching” there was this distraction once again. The ceiling is making weird sounds again. That is not the first time I heard that sound. It only means two things: a couple is making love once again or somebody is pleasuring himself. I’d go for the latter since I know no female living upstairs.
Back to my shower, as I am standing there in my birthday suit, I was so overwhelmed by everything that I got. I realized so many things. I AM LUCKY. I AM BLESSED. I must be happy with all the things that I am getting. I must be underestimating every blessing that I receive that sometimes I look so foolish not realizing so.
After an hour, I got out. And I realize another thing:
Taking a shower can bring you to the best places you can ever experience. [And I’m not referring to heaven as you fantasize and satisfy the heat and lust in your body]
Stupid but true.
Normally, I took a shower for five to ten minutes, which is basically the same amount of time that women will use just for applying shampoo, conditioner, and other hair treatment bottles they have in their mini baskets. [which almost looks like the shopping baskets at groceries.]
As I enter the shower, I know that this will take much longer than the usual. Not because I want to, but because I have to. As I start to rotate the handle of the shower, the same time the water starts pouring, I feel like a weakling. I want to cry. I am so tired. I want to rest. Thoughts left and right are pouring at the same time the water is. Many ideas have crossed my mind. Will I graduate on time? Am I really being harsh? Does anyone like me? All of the insecurities I have within myself came in front of me. All of them. I was so ashamed, as I enumerate them in my mind. Questions keep on bothering me.
For that moment, I simply closed my eyes and let the water drops invade me. In a few seconds, I hear nothing, just the peaceful sound of the water passing by me. It was so wonderful to hear. How I wish that moment will never end.
BUT!!!!
Of course, in the middle of my “soul searching” there was this distraction once again. The ceiling is making weird sounds again. That is not the first time I heard that sound. It only means two things: a couple is making love once again or somebody is pleasuring himself. I’d go for the latter since I know no female living upstairs.
Back to my shower, as I am standing there in my birthday suit, I was so overwhelmed by everything that I got. I realized so many things. I AM LUCKY. I AM BLESSED. I must be happy with all the things that I am getting. I must be underestimating every blessing that I receive that sometimes I look so foolish not realizing so.
After an hour, I got out. And I realize another thing:
Taking a shower can bring you to the best places you can ever experience. [And I’m not referring to heaven as you fantasize and satisfy the heat and lust in your body]
Stupid but true.
1 comment:
I also do hope you realized SOMEONE loved and still loves you bigtime. Really BIG.
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